Chapter 4: ABSOLUTION
Alena entered the confessional with sinful thoughts about her husband. She never expected the man himself to answer.
By the fifth Hail Mary, Alena knew she was in trouble.
Not spiritual trouble.
Hawk Copeland trouble.
Again.
She squeezed her eyes shut.
Hail Mary, full of grace—
His mouth.
The Lord is with thee—
His hands.
“Hay naku.”
Alena opened her eyes and looked apologetically at the Blessed Mother.
“Sorry po.”
Three weeks.
Three weeks since she'd last seen her husband, and apparently distance had accomplished absolutely nothing.
Mom send her here to find peace.
Alaric called it protection.
The armed men outside called it something else entirely.
Nobody said the obvious.
They were waiting for Hawk.
Because apparently being forbidden from coming near Alena had never stopped Hawk Copeland before.
She looked at the rosary. “Hindi po talaga gumagana.”
Perhaps confession would.
The old confessional was empty.
Alena slipped inside.
“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.”
A deep voice came through the wooden screen, slightly distorted.
“How long since your last confession?”
“Three weeks po.”
“What troubles you?”
Alena hesitated.
“My husband.”
Silence.
She winced. “Hindi po siya 'yung kasalanan.”
A beat.
“At least, hindi ko po sigurado.”
The priest waited.
Alena stared at her wedding ring.
“My family hates him.”
“Why?”
“Mahabang kuwento po.”
“Try.”
Alena almost smiled.
Straightforward si Father.
“My brother says my husband used me to get even with him.”
Alena's smile disappeared.
“And did he?”
That was where everything became difficult.
She lowered her eyes.
“I think that's why he chose me in the beginning.”
There.
She'd said it.
“But you married him.”
“Opo.”
“Why?”
Alena's fingers tightened around the rosary.
That question again.
Why Hawk? Why marry him? Why defend him?
Why return to him after everything?
She could never answer without hurting somebody.
“I can't explain it properly, Father.”
“Would yes or no be easier?”
Alena looked toward the screen.
“Yes po.”
“Did he force you to marry him?”
“No.”
“Do you regret it?”
“No.”
“Do you trust him?”
Alena stared at the lattice.
“Yes.”
A beat.
“Completely?”
Her mouth opened. Closed.
“No.”
Interesting.
Even to herself.
The priest continued.
“Do you believe your brother?”
Alena swallowed.
“Yes.”
“Do you believe your husband?”
Another pause.
“Yes.”
“That isn't possible.”
“I know po.”
For the first time, frustration cracked through her voice.
Alena looked down.
“I love my family. Ayokong saktan sila.”
Her thumb brushed her wedding ring.
“But I'm his wife.”
Nothing more.
She didn't know how to make Father understand what being Hawk's wife had become.
Mornings.
Two cups on a table.
Waiting for boots at the door.
Knowing when to leave him alone and when silence meant stay.
Being annoyed because he stole from her plate when his own food was exactly the same.
Sleeping beside someone dangerous enough to frighten everyone she knew— and somehow never being frightened when she woke in his arms.
Alena blinked.
Oh.
She was doing it again.
“Sorry po.”
“For what?”
“I started thinking about husband things.”
A pause.
“During confession?”
“During the rosary din po.”
Silence.
Alena covered her face.
“Please don't make me elaborate.”
“I wasn't going to.”
“Thank you.”
At least God had sent her a sensible priest.
She lowered her hands.
“I miss being his wife.”
The admission slipped out before she could stop it.
Alena stared at her ring.
Not I miss Hawk.
That sounded too simple.
She missed a life she wasn't supposed to want back.
And that frightened her.]
The priest spoke.
“Your family wants you to stay here?”
“Opo.”
“Do you want to?”
Alena went still.
Outside—
guards.
Inside—
a wedding ring nobody in her family wanted to discuss.
“No.”
The answer came quietly.
“Do they know that?”
Alena looked away.
“No po.”
“Why haven't you told them?”
Because Mommy would cry.
Daddy would understand too much.
And Alaric—
Alaric would hear only one thing:
She chose Hawk again.
“I can't.”
A long silence.
Then—
“If he came for you?”
Alena's head lifted.
“If your husband came here tonight.”
Her pulse gave one strange beat.
“Would you go with him?”
She stared through the wooden lattice.
The question should have been difficult.
It wasn't.
“Yes.”
Silence.
Alena's heartbeat grew louder.
Then Father asked—
“Even knowing why I chose you?”
Everything inside her stopped.
Not he.
I.
Alena slowly raised her eyes.
“Father?”
No answer.
A tiny click came from the other side.
The distortion disappeared.
Then a voice she knew better than she wanted to admit slid through the darkness.
“Wrong answer, sweetheart.”
Her rosary fell.
Alena stopped breathing.
“Hawk?”